Cross Country! Naruto Style!
by S-KGunNoUsagi07
Summary: It's just basically tort..er I mean helping the Naruto Cast with the sport of running! This fic is just pure humor and same old couples and blah blah. Oh yea half of this fic goes to my other helpful author DM1313! WARNING SOME CHARACTER BASHING..R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N-Muhahaha I feel so evil torturing the little naruto cast people! XD Anywayz got this idea during school! Well after school anywayz whatever...CROSS COUNTRY (aka torturing students for your own enjoyment and chasing them with a bike...) I do this every day after school for about 2 hours and its basically running around why would I do that...don't ask me. Anywayz my friend and me thought it would be funny to write about this so I did! I feel so special!..not really. Usual pairings and just pure humor!

Disclaimer-I don't anything...so sad T-T neither does my fellow companion.

WARNING- LOTS OF CHARACTER BASHING! (Except for Naruto, Neji, Shika, Ino, Ten Ten, Shino, Kiba, Hinata, Choji, Gaara, Kankurou and Rock Lee.) EVERYONE ELSE, BE WARNED!

Cross Country-Naruto Style!

* * *

It was a perfectly normal day in Konoha but there was one thing that was wrong. THERE WAS NO MISSIONS! Dun Dun Dun! Okay anywayz...the senseis all gathered and decided to build up their students STAMINA! Even though Naruto and other people have enough stamina it just to help them more, nothing really painful and harsh,...coughyearightcough. Ok well so on the teachers signed them up for CROSS COUNTRY such a beautiful sport! ...yea right. The sensies told them to meet them at the Konoha Park at 4:00 in comfrotable running clothes. Soon all of them where at the park and the beautiful tortu..er I mean sport begins!

"Ano, why are we here?"Naruto asked confused.

"Baka, we're here because Kakashi-Sensei told us to come."Sakura replied.

"Oh yea!"Naruto remembered.

"Baka."Sasuke said.

"WHAT WAS THAT SAUSKE-TEME!"

"I said baka."

"SASUKE-TEME!"

"HEY FORHEAD-GIRL!"Ino yelled.

"Nani? INO-PIG!"Sakura yelled back.

"How troublesome.."Shikamaru mumbled. MunchMunch in the background.

"Oi! So you guys are here to!"Kiba yelled to them.

"Narut..to-...Kkkkunn."Hinata stuttered.

"..."uh Shino said nothing.

"Hey don't forget about us!"TenTen yelled.

"Hnn."Neji said.

"AHH THE SPRING TIME OF YOUTH!"Rock Lee yelled at to everybody.

"Thats right my favorite student!"Gai shouted out.

"Gai-sensei you're here!"

"Of course I am!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sen..."Lee got cut off by TenTen and Neji, to everybodys relief.

"We gathered you here today because, as you know there are no missions! We, the senseis, decided to build up your...dun dun dun STAMINA!"Kakashi yelled out.

"Are you guys going to train us or whatever your going to do?"Naruto asked.

"Hell No! We signed you up for the wonderful sport of CROSS COUNTRY! And we leave you in the safety of SK and her fellow companions!"

"Huh? Whats cross country and whoes SK?"

"Cross country is er...well I leave that to SK to expain and she is your coach er sensei."

"Okay...o.O"everybody said.

"Hello Naruto cast people! I'm SK standing for Shika-Kun but it would be confusing since Shikamaru name is Shika so I'm SK! I'm here to tortu...er build up your STAMINA! Cross Country is basically running around like idio...um I mean well it's just running basically. Umm my companion is Darkmage1313 and her evi- I mean sweet wonderful muse, EvilFire1313. Anywayz we'll start now with WARM-UP LAPS!"

"Nani?"All of them said.

"Uhh...run this whole field one time."

"Why?"

"Cause I said so and if you don't you'll regret it."

"Yea right what could you do to us!"Neji and Sasuke said.

"I could do this!" Sasuke admited his undying love for Sakura just then.

"Sakura I love you...OMG Did that just come out of my mouth! What the Fuck! O.O"Sasuke screamed.

"So Neji..."

"Okay okay I'll do it."

"Good. Now start! Girls run that way and Guys run this way!"

"Hai!"

"Mwhahahahahahaha!" Everyone stared at EvilFire1313, because she was laughing like a lunatic.

"... Don't mind my muse... she has... problems..." DM1313 said slowly, backing away from her alter ego.

"Ahem, can I please have your attention. The sand squad is here! The awesomely cool Gaara-Kun and his fellow lackies, the bitch plus the puppeter!"SK announced.

Everyone stared at her like she had three heads or something, while DM1313 and EF1313 discussed the best way to kill people with the former homicidal maniac/compulsive killer Gaara.

"Now that everybody is done with the warm-up laps, we actually have to do stretches, except for Temari who has to run 7 miles before she can do anything else and don't worry Temari I know you can do it."SK proudly stated as she poofed away the sand kounchi's fan. "You won't be needing this..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY ONLY MEANS OF GETTING OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLAGE AND YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!" Now, everyone was staring at Temari like she had three heads.

"SHUT UP BITCH! OR I'LL MAKE YOU RUN EXTRA LAPS FOR GAARA! NOW MOVE MOVE MOVE!" DM1313 screamed as she began to whack Temari with her own giant fan. Poor Gaara was sweat dropping in the background. >>;

"Now everyone circle up, boys on the outside, girls on the inside..." EF1313 said in a surprisingly patient voice. "NO YOU IDIOTS! THAT IS NOT A CIRCLE! THAT IS A BLOB! I SAID A CIRCLE! A CIRCLE!" Or not...

"TenTen these people are crazy."Ino stated in a low whisper.

"You just noticed?"TenTen said.

"I CAN HEAR YOU! I wouldn't mind if you guys talked, but only if it's about your undying love for Neji and Shika!"SK stated proudly once again.

Ino and Ten Ten clapped their hands over their mouth to prevent any words from spilling out, while Neji and Shika were blushiong furiously in the background. "Oh come on, I'm not THAT bad..." SK pouted.

"Oh, I never mind about being called crazy... Gaara says it makes you special..." EF1313 said in a creepy voice, while poor Gaara was trying to recall when he ever talked to EF1313. She turned to SK. "DM1313 says that she'll switch places with you know. She's bored of chasing around Temari with the giagantic fan, and wants to lead the stretches..."

"Hmmm I wouldn't blame her for being bored, it is Temari after all, but I still want to tort...uh I mean help the Naruto cast. Besides I can just hire crazy fan-boys if she has any. But, there're a lot of stupid guys out there, so at least one would come. DM1313 can still tor...um help me."SK said.

"OKAY!" DM1313 popped out of nowhere. "I got around 10 boys to go after Temari... You're right there are a lot of idiots in this world..." she muttered. "ARE ALL YOU IDIOTS IN A CIRCLE!" she screamed at the poor tormented cast. "Er... Sorry Shika, Neji, Gaara, Hinata, Ten Ten, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, Ino, Choji, and... I guess Kankurou. Your not idiots." She apoligized.

"HEY! How come I wasn't apoligized to?" Naruto yelled

"Do you even know what a circle is?" She asked him flatly.

"YES I DO! It's a round thingy."Naruto stated proudly.

"Fine DM1313 and I will apoligize if you can give me the exact definition of a circle."SK said.

"Uh..."Naruto said.

"A circle is...actaually if Shika can give the definition or Neji they don't have to run the extra laps that I feel like giving you guys."SK said.

"Er... a circle is a plane curve everywhere equidistant from a given fixed point, the center." They both said quickly, not wanting to run any more laps.

"GOOD BOYS!" EF1313 said enthusiastically, patting Neji on the head. In the background, SK was doing the same to Shika. "Now, everyone EXCEPT Shika, Neji, Shino, Hinata, Ino, Gaara, Choji, Kiba, and Ten Ten has to run 3 more laps. They can run one." she said happily.

"Well... actually... Ten Ten and Ino, you two are going to run 20 laps unless you admit your undying love to Neji and Shika." SK said thoughtfully. "So, what'll it be, pain or public embarassment?" she asked cheerfully.

"Uh... how about neither?" Ino asked hopefully.

"Hmmm... OKAY!" SK said cheerfully.

"HEY! HOW COME THEY DON'T HAVE TO RUN EXTRA LAPS!" Naruto screamed indignantly.

"Because their special." The three evi- wonderful trainers said in unison.

"HOW COME THEIR SPECIAL AND I'M NOT!"

"Well... First of all...Shika and Neji can actually define what a circle is. Shino and Hinata have caused me absolutely no trouble at all, they're good little ninjas" SK paused to pat the two on the head. "Choji and Kiba are way too cool to run those fun little laps, Gaara would probably kill us if we made him run... Even though we can make him do stuff, we'd rather not. Akamaru is a dog, we're against animal cruelty. And of course, Ino and Ten Ten will suffer later." She said happily.

"Why does that not make me feel safe?"TenTen said.

"I'm with you.."Ino said.

* * *

Ewllo! Well I doubt anyone will review except some of my good friends on ff but if you do you'll get your fav naruto pairing poster and a cookie shaped like your fav naruto character! Wow isn't that cool! Anywayz DM1313 please don't kill me by adding additional stuff without your awesomely good grammer! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Remember cookie and poster! Well bye! OH by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASUMA IN 3 hours and 5 min! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N-  
DM1313- WE GOT 6 REVIEWS! THANK YOU PEOPLE! -hands cookie and posters to reviewers-  
SK- Calm down, DM1313. -pats on head- Thank you!  
EF1313- Those two don't own Naruto... actually they don't own anything so... sueing would be pointless... -.-u  
DM1313- Now, on with the tor-story!  
SK- Sorry for not updating sooner but DM1313 was busy...coughcough, in this chappie we will be adding the awesomely cool  
SOUND FIVE and the semi-cool Sound Nins from the Death Forest. Also special guests such as "Oro-chan", Kabuto,plus 2  
friends of ours...coughcough BEWARE.  
Brina- Hey. _I_ own something! The hat, THE HAT you fools!

* * *

Last time, we left off when Ino and TenTen were not feeling so safe at the moment...and they still aren't. 

"CONGRATULATIONS PEOPLE! NOW THAT YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR 500 LAPS AROUND THE VILLAGE, WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A REWARD!" screamed EF1313.

"Is the reward a break?" Naruto and co. asked desperately. Even those as all holy as Neji, Gaara, and the-guy-who-never-talks Shino, wanted a break.

"Let me think...NO! You get a much better reward! My other awesomely cool but oblivious friend Stephanie Szela, more commonly known as Steph, is going to run with you! In cross country she was one of the top runners! coughthirdpersontofinishinanincrediblylongracecough. Oh yeah, by the way Ino, Shika, Kiba, Akamaru, Chouji, and TenTen, she likes you, but Sasuke, she despises you. Also, Shino, she thinks you're kinda weird, and Neji, she thinks you're kinda cruel. Gaara, she thinks your a freak... but don't worry Neji, Shino, and Gaara. Steph supports NejiTen all the way, so no worries Neji. Shino, she hates bugs but don't worry, she still likes you! You're actually her fourth favorite character!...she actually freaked out when there was a ladybug on her shoe. Gaara, we all know you're a formal homicidal freak and plus, DM1313 over here is obsessed with you. Uh, Sasuke...sorry, but there's no hope for you. After all, you did run away from Konoha and betray everyone. And, Kishimoto, you just _had_ to make Temari save Shika. Curse you all! SHIKAINO WILL PREVAIL! MUHAHA! Um...back to the real world now..." SK continued.

Everyone was confuzzled at this statement. "Who the hell is Kishimoto?" "When did Sasuke betray us?" "I'm a character?" "Since when is there a thing between TenTen and me?" "Why is she obsessed over Ino and I being together?...tch...Girls are so troublesome...it's not like I have feelings for her." "What did I ever do to her...and I betray Konoha? Wha...?"

"And, my awesome friend Sabrina! Or, 'Brina, or Brina-head! coughyoudon'twannaknowcough She can be unusually... violent for one of her stature...and she hates, no that's understating it, completely despises you with a cold, black hatred, Sasuke. You'd better watch out. But you don't need to worry Kiba! She likes you!" DM1313 said cheerily.

"Oh yeah, she'll have her hat on at all times because she's special...unless it gets blown off by the wind coughcough...and everyone, excluding Kiba and Akamaru, she'll probably deem you unworthy to acknowledge so she won't talk too much unless you tick her off, then, you should start to run. Seriously, you'd better run fast. She carries sharpened pencils around. And she takes fencing. Oh, Akamaru she loves you, too."SK added.

Poor Sasuke-"What the hell did I do?"

DM1313 - "Nothing. She hated you on sight."

"And now a few of my favorite shinobi and kounichi from the Sound! Except for Orochimaru... he's just coming so we can hurt him..." EF1313 added with enthusiasm.

"OROCHIMARU'S COMING?" Brina screamed. "BUT...HE'S A SICK PERVERT! HE'S LIKE THE JAPANESE VERSION OF...OF...MICHAEL JACKSON!"

"Who's Michael Jackson?" Kiba muttered.

"I AM NOT A SICK PERVERT!" Michael Jackson...I mean...Orochimaru yelled indignantly.

"WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS A TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY THAT HE LIKES HIS BODY!" she screamed back insanely. Everyone looked kind of sick at this.

"BECAUSE HIS BODY **IS** NICE!" Now, everyone looked REALLY sick at this.

"Ahem...now back to the real world...Sabrina calm down...I shall introduce..the awesomely cool SOUND FIVE and the semi cool Sound Nins. In the Sound Five there is Kimimarou coughpurpledinosaurcough, Kidomarou coughspiderdudecough, Sakon and Ukon coughthetwinscough, Tayuya coughthehorribleslutcough, Jiroubu coughthemeaniewhoalmostkilledChojicough. That concludes the Sound 5 and on to the Sound Nins...Dosu, Zaku, and Kin coughthehorriblewhorecough. Lastly, we have Kabuto, coughtherealgeniuswhokeepsOrochimarualivecough. That concludes today's INTRODUCTION!" SK stated proudly once again.

Everyone either glared at her, glared at each other, blinked confuzzedly, or sweat dropped.

"Now, on to the character bashing! Er... I mean... uh... training! Yeah, training!" EF1313 announced, while everyone sweat dropped.

"Can we do drills?" Sabrina asked 'innocently'.

"Uh...sure!" DM1313 said cheerfully. "Now, I need some lines! Set yourselves up so that there is a line in front of you, and let's see...there are..."DM1313 started counting heads. "Uh...there are 30 of us counting me, SK, EF1313, Steph, and 'Brina... So, that's 6 lines of 5 people! And no, you can't pick your group!"

The groups are as follows:

Gaara, DM1313, Kankurou, EF1313, Sakon & Ukon Kabuto, Oro-chan, Zaku, Jirobou, and Kimimaru

TenTen, Neji, Kiba & Aka, Hinata, Naruto Sabrina, Sasuke, Sakura, Rock Lee, Stephy

SK, Choji, Shino, Kidomaru, Dosu Shika, Tayuya, Kin, Temari, Ino

"Wow... those are weird groups..." SK muttered, looking them over. "Sabrina, PLEASE try not to kill Sasuke... or Sakura... or Rock Lee for that matter...oh yea other peoplez please don't kill your 'group members' You actually need them alive!"

"Of course not. I can't."Brina muttered darkly.

"Why not?" DM1313 asked.

"Sadness and Sorrow would start playing 'cause apparently SOME PEOPLE (glares at Sakura) think this would be a BAD thing." Sabrina said with remorse.

"Now, the first drill is called 'High Knees!' It's when you bring your knees high up while running! Now, you guys have to do 'High Knees' across the field, then the other person goes! Stephy, can you please demonstrate 'High Knees' for us?"

Steph did 'High Knees' accross the field. "Does everyone understand? I'm only asking this because it's mandatory...I really don't care if you don't! Oh, and if you do it wrong, you can run our lovely, specially designed SUICIDE LAPS! (dun dun DUN!) Oh yea, if DM1313 or I don't feel like doing the drill, and going over your group to tor...er suprivise you, please don't ask questions. Any Obejections?" SK asked innocently.

Everybody was terrified to death by this yet all of them raised their hands.

"What? Don't you like your lovely little groups? Fine we'll start with Gaara's group."SK said.

Gaara's Group-

"I don't want to be with my CRAZY brother." Kankurou muttered.

"Okay, number one, he's HOMICIDAL not crazy. Number two, you have no choice. Number three, since you're complaining, you have to go first." With that, DM1313 shoved him out into the field.

"Um..DM1313 we're not starting yet...besides he WAS crazy, he's not anymore." SK pointed out.

"It's not like I want to be with you..."Gaara muttered.

"... We're stuck with a bunch of crazy freaks..." Sakon grumbled.

"At least we're not freaks with two heads like you two are." EF1313 countered.

"Umm...okay we're done with that group arguing." SK said. "On to Kabuto's group!"

(By the way this is after they all figure out Orochimaru is sick and perverted, well Kabuto knew before but yea ...)

Kabuto's Group-

"I'm pleased to be with my Orochimaru-Sama."Kabuto said.

"I don't want to be with HIM! He freaking gave me a cursed seal!"Kimimaru and Jirobou shouted.

"He wouldn't even care if we DIED!"Zaku shouted also.

"Don't be mad my subordinates. You all meant something in my life at one time or another." Orochimaru stated.

"Coughyearightcough. Anywayz we'll leave that group to argue among themselves." SK announced. "Um Neji's group can go."

Neji's Group-

"Hnn. I don't mind, it's pointless arguing against something I have to do by fate." Neji stated.

"Aww! Don't be that way Neji-kun!" TenTen said.

"I...don't..mind..being with...Naruto-kun."Hinata said.

"I don't wanna be with that idiot! Arf!"Kiba and Akamaru yelled, pointing at Naruto.

"What does that mean!"Naruto shouted back.

"Er... that was oddly normal..." EF1313 muttered, looking at the arguing Kiba and Naruto warily.

"Well..okay. You still have no choice though. Anywayz on to Sabrina's group." SK said.

Sabrina's Group-

"Great I'm in a group with a bunch of idiots."Sasuke stated.

"There's only one idiot that I see."Sabrina said pointedly staring at him.

"YEA I GET TO BE WITH MY BEAUTIFUL SAKURA-CHAN!"Rock Lee screamed out.

"...at least I get to be with my Sasuke-kun." Sakura quietly said.

"..."Steph said.  
(believe me Steph will talk, she just kinda in her dead mood right now)

"Well okay...we're finished with that group...now onto my group!" SK happily said.

SK's Group-

"Actually there will be no arguing since well... I picked this group and it'll stay that way."SK happily said and nobody else said anything, besides they were a quiet bunch of people.

"Yea and also Shikamaru's group, you have absolutely have no say in this. Besides, aren't you so glad that I put you with Ino!...I put you with the other troublesome girls because it's all part of the tor...training! Since you are a lazy bum, this will get you motivated." SK said.

"NANI? What do you mean I don't get a say? You can't do that to me! I'm...never mind this is too troublesome."Shikamaru started.

"Aww Shiiiiii-Kun, now don't be that way...you're so lucky to be with us 4 beautiful, wonderful, talented, girls."The 4 girls taunted.

"Oh crud..."poor Shika.

"Well I guess we can start now..that took awfully long...well get into your lines!...NOW! You call that a LINE! That's not a line that's a demented..."SK continued to yell at the poor Naruto cast.

"Well um...yea until next time! Ja!"DM1313 ended.

* * *

Ending A/N-

SK-Well hope you enjoyed that! Next update will probably be next century or month. Depending how lazy I am and when I can actually get Brina, DM1313, and Steph to get over.

NarutoCast-This is horrible, cruel torture! SAVE us!

SK-Like anybody really reads A/N. Sigh oh well. Come on we're not torturing you guys _that_ bad. Besides you're all with your buddies!

Shikamaru-What do you mean **_buddies_**? You call those 4 bitches, my BUDDIES?

SK-Now, now Shikamaru. No need to curse and wow you're actually putting effort to fight against me! I feel loved!

Shikamaru-What? You are a crazy BEEEEEEEP! This is torture!

SK-Yes I know you love me for putting you all with your beloved ones!

NarutoCast-Beloved Ones?

DM1313-Um...well yea...Sorry for the wait, I was freaking out about the SAT's.

SK-Yea C...um DM1313 it's all your fault!

DM1313-What do you mean my fault? I least I can type!

SK-What I can type fine! At least I'm not as short as GAARA! (no offense what so ever, I love Gaa-Kun well not as much as Shi-Kun!) SHORTY!

DM1313-What, I'm not as short as Gaara! I'm ta...

Brina-Yea...we're going to end this A/N.

Gaara-World filled with idiots I tell you...-.-u

Steph-Well JA!


End file.
